Falling Slowly
by sdange01
Summary: Hermione awakens in a hospital room believing she is still eighteen years old. What will happen when she realizes she isn't and must begin a new life with a family she doesn't recognize?
1. The Abyss

**Disclaimer: I own nothing that JK Rowling created in association with the Harry Potter Universe.**

**A/N: I am new to writing fan fiction everyone! PLEASE read and review! I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback! Hope you enjoy!**

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Chapter One- The Abyss

The fragrance of mint and jasmine overwhelm me. Darkness engulfs me but there is a distant drone, incessant and intruding. Trying to open my eyes, the darkness thwarts me and there is still nothing.

Foggily I fall back into my special place. It's summer and the warmth of the air cascades over me. The brilliant blue of the sky intermingles with the pinks and oranges that announce the impending sunset. Before me the calming hush of the waves flow towards me.

Edging closer and closer to the siren call of the ocean I feel at peace. My toes hit the freezing water but it feels right and I do not turn away. Wading deeper, the water takes over my body until I cannot stand.

Sinking beneath the surface the icy coolness of the water whooshes the air out of my lungs. Breathing becomes harder but I do not fight it. Down, down I sink yearning to discover the secrets of the deep.

Suddenly I am very aware of the beating pattern of my heart.

_Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, THUMP….thump. _

As the rhythm slows I embrace this as my home, my eternal sanctuary.

"Hermione" the sound of the angels welcoming me.

"I need you" the sound of reassurance calming my nerves, telling me I am home.

"Please" the sound of the angels begging me to hurry and join them.

There is a blinding light and I can see him, my "him": the angel with blonde hair and grey eyes matching the exact shade of the ocean around me.

Suddenly there is nothing. I thrash wildly trying to get my angel back.

"Come back to me! I need you! You're mine!" I cry.

Reality dawns upon me as I open my eyes. The fluorescent light is harsh and a searing pain cuts through my temple.

"Ow." I whimper.

That one utterance induces a change so frenetic it's as if the entire world starts spinning around. Heads turn, people begin screaming and crying, someone runs out of the room and returns with even more people which adds to the confusion.

I search for him yet there is no sign, no trace of him anywhere. Another man, a different man bends down and moves my bushy brown hair aside moments before his lips brush my cheek.

"You've come back to me love. I knew you were strong enough. I've missed you."

"Wh-Who are you?" I stammer.

A hush falls over the room.

"Darling, don't you remember what happened? You were in an accident and we brought you here to St. Mungo's. You've been in a coma for nearly three weeks."

"I. I remember the ocean."

The strange man nods his head.

"Do you remember falling of the yacht?" he urges.

"N-n-n-no. Please. Who are you? Where are my mum and dad?" I am becoming hysterical.

"Hermione," a different man interjected, "what is the last thing you actually remember?"

"I was under water and the angel called me to him and I knew I was supposed to go to him."

"Do you remember anything before that?" The same man with the grey hair speckled with strands of black pushes.

"I-I-I was with my boyfriend, Draco."

Everyone smiles and the worry disappears. The blonde man who kissed my cheek smiles wider than all of them and he presses his lips against my hand that he happens to be clasping.

"Love, it's me," the mystery man coos.

"You can't be," I say, finally finding my voice, "You're at least ten years older than we are!"

Frown lines immediately form on every face in the room for the second time.

"Everyone, will you please leave me and the patient alone for a moment," the grey and black haired man requests.

Everyone silently leaves, looking back at me with pity. I don't know what they have to be sad about- it's this man next to me who's crazy and he isn't budging from my bedside.

"Sir," began the salt and pepper haired man, "I need to be alone with the patient to examine her. You can wait right outside and I will call you the second I am done,".

"Bollocks! I'm not going anywhere! She's been on death's door for long enough, Healer! I finally have her back and I'm not letting her go!" The man beside me clutched me harder.

Healer. The older man is a healer. He must be MY healer.

Mr. Healer appraises my protector wearily. "Sir, if you want her to get better I must insist that you let me do my job, and that includes allowing me my space to examine her fully."

The silence that followed is haunting. The men seem to be engaging in a staring contest. Finally I hear the rancid scraping of metal and the blonde haired man stands, still holding my hand. He leans down and wipes away the tears that had filled my eyes.

"I love you Hermione. I will be right outside if you need anything," he whispers and this time caresses his warm lips against my forehead while squeezing my hand, "Call me the second you are done,".

He punctuates the word 'second' with a threat that speeds my pulse.

"Oh, her skin is cold as ice too. Try and do something about that will you?" He entreats as he saunters out the door.

The healer watches him go and closes the door before turning back to me.

I gulp nervously.


	2. Resurfacing

**Disclaimer: Nothing related to Harry Potter belongs to me.**

**A/N: I wrote these first three chapters in one shot but I decided to break them up to make the chunks more manageable. PLEASE read and review! I'm new to fan fiction and am excited to enter this whole new world of reading and writing!**

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Chapter Two- Resurfacing

"Hermione, my name is Healer Rutherford, Healer Thomas Rutherford. I've been caring for you for nineteen days now," he smiles as his eyes roam my face, searching for an acknowledgment.

"Hello," I squeak, barely audible.

"You had quite the accident, my dear. Yes, you are very lucky to be alive."

"Thank you for taking such good care of me."

He pauses for a moment- mentally searching for the appropriate way to continue.

"You wouldn't have made it if it hadn't been for your friends and family," he begins slowly.

"I'm…lucky,"

Healer Rutherford nods in agreement.

"Hermione, I know this will be difficult but I have to ask you these questions. Do you understand?"

This time it was I who nod.

"Think back, can you remember anything before the accident?"

I pause before answering; mentally searching for what the doctor wants to hear. Images sweep before me creating mental movies.

I see myself as a toddler, playing with my parents. I see myself reaching for an owl and untying a letter from its leg, squealing in excitement because I found out I am a witch and there IS such a thing as magic!

"I'm a witch," I mutter, awed.

I see a big castle with talking portraits, roaming ghosts, a pesky poltergeist, and an enchanted sealing. I see a hat sealing my fate to join Gryffindor.

I also see sadness at being mocked for my intelligence.

Images of my two best friends surface.

"Ron…Harry," I mumble.

"Yes, very good. Ron and Harry have been here everyday. They love you very much," The doctor encourages.

I see my parents and leaving them in Australia with modified memories due to the war and my status as a-as a mudblood.

Shit. The war. How could I forget something so traumatic? People I love died that day.

"Fred…Mom…Dad," I whisper.

"Are you remembering the war?" the Healer inquires.

"Yes," I look him squarely in the eyes for the first time and I am surprised by how much compassion radiates out of his pale green eyes.

"What about anything more recent?" he urges.

It comes crushing back to me. Malfoy. Draco Malfoy is my savior- the angel who pulled me from the abyss of the ocean. I remember running into him in Scotland shortly after the war. We began talking and it's been the two of us, together, ever since.

"Draco," I say, "We began dating a little while after the war ended,"

The healer smiles, evidently pleased with the fact that I remember my boyfriend.

"But then who was that man who was next to my bed," I say, almost scared to find out the answer.

The smile disappears from the healers face.

"Hermione," he beings awkwardly, "how old do you think you are?"

"I'm eighteen," I reply hastily- grateful at least that I know this answer.

The healer's brow furrows deeper and he jots something down on his pad.

"What's wrong? I am eighteen aren't I? Well I suppose if September nineteenth has passed then I'm nineteen. I'm sorry I must have lost track of time in here," I hastily say, hoping to correct my mistake.

"That's not why I'm worried Hermione," the healer begins, "I'm afraid you may be suffering from a rare form of amnesia where the patient regresses in time," he stops speaking suddenly.

"I don't understand."

"I better get him back in here."

With that the Healer opens the door and calls the mysterious blonde man back in.

"What's the verdict, Rutherford," the blonde asks.

"She thinks she's still eighteen years old."

"I AM eighteen! Please, get my friends or my boyfriend or my parents and they'll tell you!"

"Sweetheart, calm down. Everything is going to be alright," the blonde hushes me as he rushes to be by my side. He kneels down and takes my hand in his, kissing it. For the first time I notice the ring on my left hand. I gasp, disbelieving that I could have possible missed them before.

"I'm engaged?" I whisper. How could I forget something so important?

The blonde looks at the doctor, horrified. In response the doctor nods and the blonde begins to weep.

"Love, my love, my Hermione. Please come back to me," the blonde is pleading with me.

"Do you recognize him at all Hermione?" The healer nudges me.

"No," I whisper.

"I'm your husband!" The blonde man begins to hyperventilate as he says it.

"No!" I shudder. I can't possibly be married! I'm only eighteen!

"I'm so young! I can't be married! Nevermind the fact that I don't know you!" I shriek.

The Healer hems and haws before beginning to speak.

"There is no easy way to say this. Hermione, today is April 9, 2012. You are thirty-two years old and this man is your husband. You remember him- you mentioned him to me when we were talking,"

The words poured out of him so quickly I almost missed it.


	3. Still Fighting It

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine because I am not JK Rowling.**

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short! PLEASE read and review! Your support means the world to me!**

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Chapter Three- Still Fighting it

I search through my memory of my conversation with the Healer. It was so recent and yet the piercing pain grinding against my temple made me foggy. This entire experience is incredibly surreal.

Who did I mention to Rutherford? I mentioned Harry, Ron, Fred, my mum and dad. None of them is my possibly my husband.

It hits me like a ton of bricks. I spoke about Draco, my childhood enemy turned lover.

"Oh!" I gasped. "Draco?"

The blonde man looks up at me, tear stained.

"You do remember me! Thank God." He chokes out through his tears.

"She remembers you, yes, Mr. Malfoy. But she remembers nothing past when you two first began dating."

Draco looks at me, imploring me to remember our life.

"What about Kyle, Henry, and Aurora?" His desperation leaks out of him.

It's my turn to frown. Those names don't sound remotely familiar.

"Take it slow, Mr. Malfoy," Rutherford suggests.

"I- I- I don't ever remember hearing those names." I confess.

Draco begins his sobs again.

"Our kids," was all he manages to say before he passes out.

I look down at his face while Rutherford calls more Healers for backup. My thoughts and emotions are overwhelming me to the point of anxiety. How am I going to raise kids that I can't remember? What about Draco? I remember being with him but this man surely can't be him! He's so much older than me! And there is something recognizable about him but he definitely is NOT Draco!

My alleged husband is lifted into the chair and given a reviving potion. I relish the time the healers spend making sure he is okay because I am left alone to ponder what exactly I am going to do when he wakes and I have to begin my new life as a wife and mother to people I've never met before and don't recognize.


	4. Henry

****Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter****

**A/N: This story just seems to be writing itself! Please continue reading and reviewing! The comments are so encouraging and constructive**

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Chapter Four

An hour and a half later and I am examining my older visage in a beautiful rose patterned silver hand mirror that apparently belongs to me.

Draco is still passed out, though Healer Rutherford has magically enhanced the room so that Draco was now lying comfortably on his own bed.

I suppose I still look like I used to but my features were much sharper- my cheek bones were more pronounced my chin seemed narrower, and I could clearly see my clavicle protruding.

All of this was nothing, simply nothing compared to how different my hair is.

Before it was a bushy, tangled web of muddy brownness. I always hated it. Now, it is honey, it is honey cascading down me, curving around as it flows. It is soft, shiny, and practically perfect.

I am in awe of the woman I seem to have become and yet I can't help but feel there is something I am missing.

As I contemplate what this mysterious "X factor" could possibly be the door bursts open, though I don't see anyone walking in.

"Mummy, mummy you're awake!" A little voice stops my heart mid beat.

"Henry, no come back here. Mummy needs her rest. You can see her in a bit."

Another foreign voice urges from down the hall.

He is blonde like his father and he can't be more than five years old. His hair is long, falling over his eyes as he climbs up the bed. I'm still too paralyzed to move.

When he reaches me be exhales and brushes his beautiful hair out of his eyes. The sight shocks me. I am looking directly into MY eyes. If there was any doubt about who this boy's mother was before I certainly could not deny it now.

Before I could open my mouth to speak a red haired woman skids into the doorway.

"Henry! I told you not to come in here," she scolds lightly as she walks in to scoop him off the bed.

"I'm so sorry Hermione. He got away from me. This little bugger is fast!" She tickled the boy as she spoke.

"I. It's ok," I stammered.

This woman looks familiar and I realize with a start that she resembles a much younger Mrs. Weasley.

"Ginny!" I gasp.

Ginny's smile lights up the room and I can't help but smile with her.

"Looks like you're feeling a bit better. We'll get out of your hair for awhile longer. Come on Henry let's go back and play with your brother and sister and Uncle Harry and Lily, James, and Albus. What do you say?"

"I wanna stay with mummy!" The boy cried and reaches his arms out to me.

"Mummy needs her rest. I promise you can come visit soon."

"What is going on here?" Healer Rutherford asks as he enters the room with more potions.

"This little guy got away from us and ran in here. I'm taking him back out now," Ginny responds curtly.

I swear I can hear her muttering "Though it would probably be good for her to spend time with her children even if she doesn't remember them,".

"I think that's best Ginny," my healer remarks.

"Can I give mummy a kiss before we go? PLEASE?" Henry wails as Draco stirs in his sleep.

Ginny and Healer Rutherford turn to me.

"Umm. Sure" I respond meekly.

Ginny walks over to the bed with Henry as he reaches out for me. Instinctively I reach back for him and soon he is in my arms.

"I miss you mummy. Please feel better. I want you to come home with us!" My son implores me after he kisses my cheek.

"I will buddy. But for now be good for Ginny and Harry, ok?" I looked him in the eye and he nodded gravely.

"I will," he is very serious in his response. It's as if he believes that by obeying his aunt and uncle I will get better. For the first time, the boy appears to notice his father in the next bed.

"Why does Daddy have a bed in here now?"

Before I could answer Ginny jumps into the conversation.

"Daddy just needs some rest kiddo. Come on, let's go get your brother and sister and find some ice cream."

"Yay! Bye Mummy! I'll see you soon! Bye Daddy I hope you have happy dreams!" the boy shrieks as he catapults himself into Ginny's arms and blows me a kiss as they disappear from view.

I look at Healer Rutherford, unsure of what will happen next.

"My son…" I begin at the same time as he says

"That must have been traumatic for you,".

I blush and he starts again.

"Would you like a calming potion?"

"I think I'm ok."

He looks at me skeptically.

"He…the boy…Henry," I say his name for the first time, "I know he's mine. I saw it in him."

"The resemblance in the eyes is remarkable,"

I nodded my agreement.

"I'm glad you're handling this better than anticipated. I'll leave you to rest. I brought your pain relieving potion. You should take it and try to sleep,".

"If you insist,".

"I do," he begins to walk away and turns back, "If your husband happens to wake up I would recommend talking with him. Talking with friends and family, especially Draco, is the only thing that can help your memory. Getting it back is up to you now,".

I look at him with surprise as he walks back out the door. Seconds pass, maybe minutes, perhaps hours, before I turn my attention to the man in the next bed. Studying him carefully, I realize how much he also looks like Henry.

I sip the pain relieving potion and lay in my bed, staring at my sleeping husband, wondering how on earth we will ever build a life again.

As I fall asleep, I dream of the ocean. Unlike my last dream, I am playing in the water with a group of people. I fall deeper into my sleep and the figures become clearer: there are two little boys, one little girl, a man, and me.

I am dreaming of the family I still don't remember.


	5. Love Story

****Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter****

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, follows, and favorites! Please keep reading and let me know what you think! Thanks!**

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Chapter Five

Suddenly I'm swimming in a sea of grey. Soothing and warm, it overtakes me. I feel safe here. I want nothing more than to stay here forever and for always.

The grey slowly dissolves around me until there is nothing but two grey orbs. The ivory and peach surroundings continue to blur in and out of focus. I can see nothing but the orbs. I struggle to go towards them but as I get closer they move farther away.

The blurriness abates and the room in St. Mungo's flows back into view. I smile because I can still see my grey orbs. I reach my arm out towards them, wincing in pain.

Suddenly another arm reaches out and grabs my outstretched hand.

I am concentrating so intensely on my grey orbs I missed that they were attached to a man.

"Oh!" I gasped.

"Sleep well love?" Draco whispered?

"I-umm-yes. I did. Thanks. Are you feeling better?"

"I am. I'm so sorry I lost my composure earlier. It's just well; it breaks my heart to know that you don't remember our life. It is a perfect life and I can't do it without you," Draco rushes through this speech, locking eyes with mind.

"I can't imagine how that must feel for you. Please, try to see it from my perspective. I wake up and I think I'm eighteen and young and have the whole world at my feet and my entire life ahead of me. In seconds all of that was taken from me and I learn I'm over thirty, married, and have three children. I. Well. Do you want the truth?"

"More than anything."

"I feel like I was cheated. I feel like I lost out on what was supposed to be the best part of my life."

"It was the best part of your life, of both our lives." Draco's eyes beg me to believe him.

Silence follows while I ponder what my next move will be.

"Draco…"

"Yes?" He looks so hopeful.

"Are we in love?"

The pain in Draco's eyes explodes as tears stream down Draco's face.

"Yes my love. We love each other more and more with each passing day."

It is impossible for me to imagine a world in which I share requited love with a gorgeous man and yet I can't remember it. Never mind remembering the past- I can't even recognize my husband. Knowing his name unfortunately does not equal recognition. It's a sobering thought.

An idea pops into my head and it's out of my mouth before I can think about it.

"Tell me how we fell in love."

"Really?" Draco looks at me hopefully.

"Yes."

"Close your eyes love and try to remember while I talk." Draco coos from across the room.

My eyes are closed and I am back at the beach that I know to be my very own special place. Draco's words break through my consciousness and seem to shower down on me from the clouds lingering above the beach. I soak in his story, desperately trying to claim it as my own.

"After the war Potter and I declared a truce. Weasley was hesitant but you seemed willing to go along with it. I couldn't bear to stay in England. My father was arrested and my mother wouldn't come out of her room regardless of my efforts."

I dip my toes into the coolness of the water and send a splash up into the air before it rains down onto my legs.

"You decided against going back to Hogwarts for seventh year in favor of travelling through Europe and exploring different magical communities. I also didn't go back to Hogwarts. I was listless and lost."

I lay back into the sand, working to bury myself in its warmness.

"I left home in the middle of the night without knowing where I was headed. I've told you this before but it's as if some invisible force was leading me towards you. I hopped from country to country not knowing what I was looking for."

I cup a handful of sand and let the grains slip through my fingers. I watch them fall and disappear back into the massive beach surrounding me.

"One day I was meandering around Edinburgh, Scotland. I literally bumped into you."

Draco's chuckle falls down on me as raindrops.

"You looked so surprised. It was love at first sight- on my side anyway. I asked you to go for a cup of coffee. You hemmed and hawed and I thought I was losing you before I had you in my grasp."

I decided to take a stroll along the beach as I listened to Draco and the clouds shifted above me.

"We were both travelling alone. We spent a few more days exploring Edinburgh together before you were scheduled to leave for Paris. We stood at a fork in the road. In one direction was a portkey to Paris. In the other direction was a vast wasteland full of emptiness and sadness. We stood there awkwardly, both looking at our shoes. And then you whispered it."

I looked up into the clouds and saw a streak of sunlight breaking through.

"You said 'Come to Paris,'. That's it. Just those three simple words. The air left my lungs and we locked eyes. I whispered one word 'Gladly,'. And then I reached out to you, touching your arm. Shocks of electricity shot through my entire body, leaving a tingling sensation coursing through every inch of my flesh. My lips found yours. They were so soft and warm. It was modest at first. Soon, we both let go and our tongues frantically searched for each other."

I look down at my feet and before me is a beautiful green and purple shell sprinkled with crystals. I pick it up and turn it over in my hands.

"We went to Paris, Rome, Venice, Santorini, Crete, and finally back to London. I don't know when exactly you knew you loved me. I knew the moment I kissed you at the fork in the road back in Edinburgh. The first time you said you loved me was the night we got back to London."

I continued walking, pressing my new shell against my heart as I went.

"We were standing in front of your apartment. You had been acting bizarrely all day. I was petrified you were going to leave me when we got home. I asked you what was wrong. You bit the left corner of your lower lip and the tip of your tongue escaped your mouth. You couldn't bring yourself to look at me. I asked you again and I remember you exhaling deeply before looking up at me determinedly."

I stopped walking at the edge of the sea, watching the white caps of the waves crash onto the sand.

"You said 'Draco where do we stand now that we're home?'. I looked at you, confused and told you that our relationship is the most important thing in the world to me. The relief flooded through your face, every muscle visibly relaxing. You threw your arms around my neck and said 'I love you Draco!'. I was so surprised. I entwined my hand through your hair and whispered back 'I love you too Hermione,'. More than you know."

My special place slipped away as I started falling slowly back into the surprisingly comfortable bed at St. Mungo's. Opening my eyes I found Draco staring at me hopefully.

"Do you remember?"

All I want is to remember, to recognize him.

"I remember Scotland and Paris and Rome."

"Anything else?"

"I'm sorry Draco. I'm trying. I just don't remember. I'm sorry I only remember you at eighteen. You're foreign to me now. I know that must hurt but it's true."

"Are we over Hermione?"

I gasp at his bluntness. I desperately want to remember! I don't want to destroy anything else!

"No! Draco! No! I need time. I need to get reacquainted with my life."

"Will you come home with me and our children?"

The mention of children sparks something in my memory.

"I saw Henry." I confessed.

Draco looks scared.

"When?"

"While you were sleeping. He must have gotten away from Ginny and he ran in here and onto my bed. He's…perfect."

Draco smiles and I can't help but smile back at him.

"He is. He loves you so much Hermione. Kyle and Aurora love you too."

"I guess I'll have to talk to them about…everything."

"Not unless you want to. I can talk to them love."

"No…no. They should hear from me."

Draco nods.

"Umm…Draco?"

"Yes"

"How old are they?"

Draco's pride shines through his eyes as he speaks.

"Kyle is 9, Aurora is 7, and Henry is 5."

"We really do have the perfect family don't we Draco?"

Draco looks at me, eyes blazing.

"We absolutely do Hermione."

"I want to remember."

Draco sets his jaw. I've never seen him so determined.

"We'll get your memory back Hermione. I promise we will. Even if it's the last thing I do."

I smile at him. It's obvious that this man loves me deeply. Draco smiles back at me and he reaches for my hand. I let him take it and he squeezes tightly. A thrill of electricity shoots through me. Maybe this won't be so hard after all.


	6. Homebound

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

**A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update! Hope you enjoy this chapter! Please continue to read, review, follow, and favorite! Your support and enthusiasm is wonderful inspiration! Thank you!**

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Chapter Six- Homebound

I sit in my bed for three more days watching the clouds move past my window as hues of blue and grey melt into the pinks and oranges that mean the long days of pain relief potions and attempting to remember my family are about to be suspended by nights of dreams and relief from the onslaught of questions.

Eventually, Healer Rutherford is ready to discharge me. I wait nervously in my room, apprehensive about the coming minutes, hours, days. I'm not supposed to know this but there has been a considerable amount of arguing over who I will go home with.

I shudder as I recollect yesterday's conversation

"_What do you mean you think we should consider other housing options for her?" _

_Draco's hysteria makes my heart beat faster causing beads of perspiration to float down my face. _

"_Just for a few weeks Draco! Think of your children."_

_I recognize this voice too. It's Harry. From the little I remember of my life I know that Draco and Harry are far from being friends. My palms are now slippery with sweat. _

"_My children need their mother." _

_Draco's voice is deathly quiet. _

"_Please, Draco, try to see reason. We want what's best for Hermione."_

_Harry pleads. I take a step towards the door intent on voicing my opinion of my future. I stop as I hear Draco. _

"_YOU want what's best for Hermione? What the hell do you think I want for her? This is tearing my family apart! Kyle cries himself to sleep every night. Henry and Aurora don't know which way is up…."_

_Draco's muffled sobs stir my heart in an unexpected way. _

"_I know mate, I know. Do you really want your children to be around her when she can't remember them? It's better for her to come stay with us and we can slowly introduce her to her old life."_

_Harry makes a lot of sense. Maybe I should go home with him. _

"_Absolutely not Harry. We've been without her for over a month. They need to see that she is okay- physically at least. I won't confuse them further by having their mother go live somewhere else."_

_Draco makes sense too. I am more confused than ever. _

"_Harry! Draco!" _

_A new voice calls them. _

"_Merlin! What are you two arguing about? I can hear you all the way in the waiting room!"_

_It's Ginny. _

"_We were chatting about what Hermione should do when she is allowed to leave."_

_Harry mumbles, clearly embarrassed that his wife had caught him. _

"_Five feet away from her room? Merlin's beard are you crazy? She can probably hear everything you're saying! How could you?"_

_Ginny's voice shoots daggers at Harry and Draco. The quiet that follows assures me that Draco and Harry realize their mistake. _

_I hear three distinct sets of footprints waking farther and farther away from me. I realize that I have been holding my breath and exhale deeply. Stumbling back into my bed, the tears begin to spill down my face. _

_I can't help but wonder what is going to happen to me. _

My breathing becomes more erratic as the memory of yesterday's conversation engulfs me.

Healer Rutherford walks in and frowns when he sees me.

"Mrs. Malfoy what seems to be troubling you today?"

I look up at him and do my best to smile, knowing that it barely reaches my cheeks and definitely won't show in my muddy brown eyes.

"I'm a little umm-nervous- about going home today." I mumble as I look down.

My healer sits down next to me and gently pats my shoulder.

"I can't imagine how hard this is for you. I want you to know that you are welcome to come take advantage of any of our outpatient services, including counseling, after you are discharged. I know this isn't a magical fix. But you do have the option."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

"Do you know where you're going?"

"I…no…"

I hear footsteps approaching. I am quiet as the tap of the leather hits the tile floors. I can't bring myself to look up.

"Ah, Mr. Malfoy, nice to see you again sir."

I barely see the two men shake hands out of the corner of my eye.

"How's my girl doing today?"

Draco's drawl inspires butterflies to invade my stomach. I can't control the feeling and yet it somehow seems foreign to me.

"She's a bit nervous about leaving the hospital. We all need to be sensitive to her in the coming weeks."

The threat in his voice is veiled with the sound of a healer's advice.

"Of course, I wouldn't dream of having it any other way."

Draco takes a step closer to me. I still can't look at either man. I see a flash of black as Draco extends his arm towards me but he withdraws it as quickly as it was extended.

"My love."

Draco murmurs as he turns away from me and runs his hand through his meticulous blonde hair.

"Mr. Malfoy have you and your wife made a decision about where she will be residing once she leaves us? I'm afraid I can't discharge her officially until we have an address for the file."

The ensuing pause causes my heart to beat faster than I have ever heard it before. It's as if it is thumping wildly while attempting to dislodge itself from my chest. Suddenly my husband's voice breaks through my anxiety with a whisper that instantly hushes my heart.

"I would prefer her to come home with me, to our home, I mean. I miss her desperately. And so do our children."

He speaks so quietly and yet I hear the urgency fill his voice. Imagine, Draco Malfoy, the boy who hated me for years, who tormented me, called me names, hexed me, imagine this same boy with his voice filled with love intermingled with fear.

_He needs me_

The thought interrupts my own anxiety and hesitation with a resounding firmness that I have not felt since I awoke almost a week ago.

"If she feels more comfortable, however, Harry and Ginny Potter have offered to let her stay with them. They are here, in the waiting room. I asked them to wait there while I surveyed the situation."

From somewhere deep within I find the courage to look up. My eyes find Healer Rutherford first. He is nodding at Draco. Draco. I have never seen him look this old. Black and blue circles outline his eyes and lines have formed all around his face. He has aged years in a matter of days.

"Oh!"

My breath is knocked out of me by this sight. My heart breaks slightly for him.

Suddenly there is another set of feet walking purposefully towards my room. I hold my breath, hoping the footsteps will pass us by. I am not that lucky.

"What's taking so long?"

Ginny's face fills with concern as her eyes dart back and forth between Malfoy and me.

"We are discussing Mrs. Malfoy's options."

Healer Rutherford attempts to sound jovial as he addresses Ginny but I can hear the slight tinge of apprehension in his voice.

"Have you come to a decision?"

It's just like Ginny to cut straight through the conversation to the heart of the matter.

"We have not."

My healer takes an anxious step towards the door. I know he wants to be out of dodge in case Ginny and Draco begin fighting.

"Have you asked Hermione what she wants?"

The accusation is clear and my body tenses as six eyes bore through mine.

"I…well…I…"

"We shouldn't be putting so much pressure on her!"

Draco shouts and I jump. My body releases all of the tension it has been holding. I look at my husband and my best friend. I know they want what's best for me. I know what I have to do.

"Ginny, I truly appreciate the offer to come stay with you and Harry. You're honestly the best friends in the entire world. But…"

I pause as I consider how I want to word this. Taking a deep breath, I continue.

"I need to go home. I don't know if this is the right decision but for me it is the only decision. Even if I can't remember my children or my husband or my life I can't alienate them. It won't help me to remember and I will feel horribly guilty."

The words tumble out of my mouth and I wait with bated breath as the three people before me take in my words. Slowly, a grin spreads across Healer Rutherford's face and I understand immediate that he believes I have made the right decision. Ginny looks unsure but she nods at me and I know she will not fight my choice.

I look at Draco last. His jaw has dropped and his grey eyes are searching my face for signs of doubt.

"Are you sure Hermione?"

The question comes from my husband.

I look him in the eyes before I respond.

"Absolutely sure."

Before I know what happened his arms are around me and my feet have left the floor. A laugh escapes me as he twirls me around, his arms tightly hugging my chest. He puts me down and looks lovingly in my eyes. Every shred of doubt I may have had about this decision melts away instantly, as I see the twinkle in Draco's eyes return. He is beautiful and he is mine.

"You can't imagine how happy this makes me."

His smile is infectious.

Healer Rutherford clears his throat and steps in.

"I don't mean to interrupt this lovely moment but why don't I write down all of the discharge instructions and you and Mrs. Malfoy can continue this display at home.

"That's the most wonderful idea I've heard in a month."

Draco practically skips out of the room after Healer Rutherford.

Ginny looks at me, her eyes silently questioning mine.

"This is the right thing to do, Ginny."

"I hope so Hermione. I just hope you realize how hard it might be. Your children…"

"I'm not worried. When I met-umm-saw-Henry last week my heart knew him, even though I couldn't remember him. I know it will be that way with Kyle and Aurora too."

"Just don't demand too much of yourself. And take your time getting back into the swing of things. Harry and I are always happy to watch the kids if you need a break. And the offer stands. You're welcome to stay with us any time."

"I know Ginny. Thank you so much."

We hug and I know she is at peace with my choice.

Draco returns to the doorway and holds his hand out to me.

"Your chariot awaits, Mrs. Malfoy."

I grin and give him my hand. Little electric currents run through my body beginning where I grabbed my husband's hand, sending shivers through me. Draco grabs my suitcase and we walk out of the room.

I hear Ginny walking behind us. When we reach the waiting room I see Harry. I step away from Draco momentarily so that I can hug my best friend.

"Trust me, I'm making the right decision."

I whisper into Harry's ear as his arms engulf me. I feel safe and comfortable in his arms and yet the excitement isn't there as it is when I touch Draco.

"I'm here for whatever you need 'Mione. Always remember that."

I look at him and smile before giving my hand back to Draco.

"Let's go home."

Draco looks at me and I swear I can see love pouring out of him.

"Your wish is my command."

We walk to the fireplace ready to floo back to our home. Harry and Ginny wait patiently behind us.

I'm ready to remember. The yearning swells from deep within me. I need to remember. I step into the fireplace with Draco and a sudden swell of nervousness overtakes me.

_What if I'm making a mistake? What if I can't remember? What if the children don't like me?_

I grasp Draco tighter and look at him nervously. His euphoria has blinded him to the sudden tensing of my body. I don't hear the words that Draco says but suddenly we are spinning towards our home.

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what is to come, determined not to look back on the horror of the past month.

"We're home!"

Draco helps me out of the fireplace. Somewhere in the house I hear the pitter patter of feet running and laughing.

_Oh no_.

I'm not ready for this.

"Draco, I…"

"Shh, love. Don't overexert yourself."

Draco touches his fingers to my lips, silencing me.

I steel myself and walk forward through the vast living room, gaping at how extraordinarily large and beautiful our home is.

_I can do this_

I think determinedly. Yet, I can't shake the nagging thought that keeps penetrating my confidence.

_What if you can't?_

I gulp and shake my head- trying to rid myself of these thoughts.

Draco pulls me up a huge spiraled staircase and into a room that opens with double doors. A large king size bed lies before me.

"Get some rest, angel."

I lay on the bed and am asleep before Draco can close the door.


End file.
